all I want for Christmas

Today I miss Texas. Every once in awhile I wake up with an extreme missing, a longing, to be back home. It's only natural that this feeling is coming around Christmas. I miss everything about a Texas Christmas, including the almost always warm Christmas Day weather (except last year, the year I was in Sweden, where it snowed on Christmas Eve). I would give you guys a big list of all of the things I miss but it really comes down to this: family.  I miss my family.
I've been making Christmas lists for the past few weeks, trying to only place reasonable, affordable items on them but the one gift I really, really want is for my parents to be here on Christmas morning.

visions of grandeur

Yesterday was no good. But also very good. Don't you hate it when days are like that? Then it's impossible to like a day or not like the day. You can't declare the day as "bad" when it's also been good.

I had one final surprise planned for G's birthday; a football game that his parents and brother would surprise him at. Except the team cancelled the game the night before and suddenly I found myself sobbing about how "nothing ever goes right." And we all went to go see the new Wall Street movie instead. But then they didn't show previews at the movie and the guy two seats behind me kept kicking his chair and I could feel it like he was right behind me. And then we went to dinner but the waiter put the five of us at a table for four even though I made reservations for five.

But I also got to spend time with family, eating great sushi, drinking sake, and laughing. Which is ultimately beats the bad parts of the day.

And in just two days I'll be back in America and hanging out with my family. I'm excited.

I also got a surge of inspiration today. Maybe it was laying around all day reading but suddenly I am excited about the future and all of the many things I have planned. Maybe too many things, but that's never a terrible thing now is it?

As promised, but a day late, here is the cake I made.

I had visions of grandeur when making this cake and it didn't come out exactly as planned. But it was still good. It's a vanilla and orange sponge cake. With a thin layer of fig jam. Covered in a vanilla and orange whip cream with roasted figs.

time goes on

I know, I promised I'd write every day. But all of a sudden I got really busy and time flew by. It does that now. Time just goes by so fast the older and older you get. It's a bit scary.

I'll explain why I was so busy sometime next week, but until then... cross your finger (or hold your thumbs) for me!

In other news, my grandmother is doing better. They have figured out what has been ailing her and it seems like it's nothing that some strong medicine and rest can't fix. It was just really scary when they had no idea what was causing her to be in so much pain!
Thank you for the prayers and the good vibes.

And in other, other news... have I mentioned that we are going to New York at the end of September? I don't think so. But we are! And we are so excited!
My step-brother is getting married and they live in New York so my parents and family members will be there too!
New York is where G and I "re-met." We both met in Texas at college but then G had to go back to Sweden and we kept in touch for a year. And then finally we decided it'd be smart to re-meet to see if you know, if we'd work together. So we picked a week in July, hopped on our respective planes and met in New York.
It was a crazy, sweaty, humid, hot, dirty weekend. I had blisters on my feet after the very first day and it was too hot to wear make up or fix my hair. But for some reason G still liked me.
Looking back on it, it was a terribly crazy thing to do- to "re-meet" someone you haven't seen in a year in a city you barely know. But it worked for us and it was really special.
I'm excited about visiting New York in the fall, seeing my family again!, and being with G in the city where everything really really started.

five years ago

I've been thinking about what to write today. It's a big day.
Five years ago today my mom received a bone marrow transplant.
When I think about that, it kind of takes me aback.
Five years ago my mom was really, really sick. She was diagnosed with both Acute Myeloid Leukemia and Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Two types of a very terrible cancer.
It came as kind of a shock. All of a sudden.
For awhile she had been getting colds off and on but nothing too serious. And then she had a gynecologist appointment where they drew blood and noticed her blood count was very low. So they sent it off to have it tested.
I was at my freshmen college orientation when my mom was admitted to the hospital. My parents made the decision not tell me until the weekend was over. Paul (my step-father) picked me up from orientation.
I remember it being weird that Paul and not my mom was picking me up from orientation.
I remember him saying that he had some bad news to tell me. And my heart racing.
Paul was very brave to pick me up and tell me this news. He and my mom had only been married for a few months (three or four) so he and I were still getting to know each other.
We went to go see my mom straight away and it was so surreal. It still is.

What you might not know about me is that my father passed away when I was 11. So my mom has been the only parent I've really ever had. She has been my friend, my parent, my confident, and my role model. And suddenly she was sick. Really sick.

The time she spent in the hospital seems like one of those fuzzy flashbacks they have on tv shows. It's a time I don't really want to remember.
We are so grateful to God for my mom. For our family. For the strength that was given to us during that time. For the understanding, the care, the doctors, the compassion, and the motivation. It was not easy.

My mom has had five other friends diagnosed with leukemia and she is the only one who has survived.

You guys have no idea how grateful I am to God to my mom is alive. And healthy. She is an amazing, strong woman.

My Uncle was a perfect match for her to receive a bone marrow transplant. I am constantly amazed at science for letting things like bone marrow transplants be possible! The crazy thing is that my mom has my Uncle's DNA.

So today is definitely a day of celebration. My mom is alive and a survivor.