Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my dear Husband!
Today is his 26th birthday and my third birthday to celebrate with him.
The day has barely started and the skies are blue (not gray!) I have feeling it's going to be a beautiful day.

And there is so much more coming!

in between

Every once in awhile I get really, really, really homesick. When I first moved here I decided I wouldn't be homesick because it is counter productive to me if want to make a life here. Which I do. But sometimes I feel homesickness with such intensity that I become depressed for days.  Right now is one of those times (the last one was in June).

I've been missing Texas a lot lately. Everything about it.  As of December it'll be a year since I've been back to Texas. I'm excited about visiting the States in one week (!!!) but New York is not the same. Still good, but not Texas.
I miss the friendliness of Texas, grocery stores with so much choice, country music, Texas music, warm weather evenings, amazing sunsets, the easiness of English, outrageous Texan pride, the easiness of the life I'd always had until recently, English speaking church,  my family, my friends, Tex Mex food, frozen margaritas, feeling like I actually know what's going on, driving my car, and so much more.

I'm getting tired of Sweden right now. The grey skies are back, the cold is back, the rain is back. I am tired of not knowing how the systems here work, of public transportation and being crammed like sardines on a bus, missing my family, of constantly feeling on the "fringe", of the lack of choice and originality. I am tired, so tired, of Swedish- reading Swedish, writing Swedish, listening to Swedish, and struggling to speak Swedish. And feeling bad when people speak English for my benefit.

Lately I've had a few downs here and I'm thinking more and more about what if we were to move back to the States sooner than we've already planned. But as familiar as the States is to me, I will still feel like an outsider when I go back. It's inevitable after spending almost two years in another country.

So I guess all around I feel a bit lost.  Between two countries: one is my home but becoming stranger and stranger to me and the other is so strange but could maybe be home.

I keep trying to shake myself out of this funk but I can't right now. Maybe New York will help.
Any suggestions?

fairytale land

We went to G's parent's place this weekend. It was the perfect country weekend with green pastures, rainy grey days, and the kind of laziness that is actually good for you. I don't think we moved an inch on Saturday. We went on a long, long, long walk on Sunday. We kept walking down this one road waiting for it turn back into the town but instead it keep going deeper and deeper "into no mans land". We had no cell signal for an hour and finally when we could look at the GPS we realized we were in another town.
So we turned around and again walked passed the mushroom pickers, the edible Karl Johan mushrooms, and the poisonous flugsvampar. I personally hate mushrooms, but G was pretty excited. We passed the pine trees and the knee high ant hills, the birch forest that surrounded a small lake, the forest with the light green moss carpeting the ground, and finally we were in familiar territory: by the king deer hunting range, and then the Polish wood-makers house, and then home.
My in-laws live in a fairy-tale land, I wasn't just trying to be descriptive.

tweet

I woke up with a headache this morning. That's not great. I'm hoping that coffee will remedy it.
Thankfully, today I have a day off! That means no school and was supposed to mean sleeping in but I woke up at 8:00.
Yesterday, I found out that I am officially accepted into my school! So congrats self.
I like being back at school. I like the classroom setting, using a pencil, taking notes. I do not like long, long days where my brain becomes so packed with information that I forget simple things like how to subtract (this actually happened). But it's a good class, a tough education, and I am almost certain that I can do it. How's that for motivation?

In other news, I'm now on twitter. I used to be on twitter- like last year... but that was back in the days before we got our iPhones so twitter felt kind of useless. Anyways, I thought I'd try it out again now that I have an internet phone. I have no idea how any of this works... like the #? What does that mean? I'm too young to be having a technical crisis right now.
You can follow me @fruette.

Off to do some wifely chores.

better

Sorry for the whiny post this morning. I had a bad Swedish day and felt (well, still feel) a bit overwhelmed. The easiness of the class seemed to only last the week before and now my head is swimming. I am also SO BAD at speaking that I work very hard at not talking to anyone in case they find out that I'm SO BAD. But I will get better, I will get more courage, and I'll stop trying to be a wallflower- because that's not who I am. At least not in English.
So I thought I'd post some recent photos from the iPhone, things that make me happy and confident feeling.

Dried lavender in the bedroom.
























The impromptu and awesome crayfish party we were invited last weekend. Everyone brought a quiche and we had four quiches, a pile of crayfish (none for me), a peach pie, and a lot of snaps.






















Lunch with my husband on campus. This is a photo of dessert, a shared Kex bar and some coffee.



















Sitting by the canal with my husband, enjoying the early autumn weather.

























I think tomorrow will be a less frustrating day.

now and later

Today I:

• Woke up early to get ready for school. I changed my socks four times before I found the perfect pair.
• Had a lecture in the Swedish language and it's pronunciation.
• Met my husband for a lunch of cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches. We're dainty ladies like that.
• Was continually happy over the cool and sunny September weather.
• Had a history lecture.. in SWEDISH.
• Convinced my husband to walk 50 meters to buy me a falafel since I hurt my foot and I was hungry.
• Hobbled halfway home on my hurt foot and then took the bus the rest of the way.
• And was very happy to be back in school and that my husband also goes to the same school.

And Later:

• I will fix us some tacos which will be super spicy since we found FRESH JALAPENOS at the store. (I don't think I've ever seen a jalapeno here so it's a big deal).
• Watch the newest Top Chef and Weeds.
• And maybe sneak a few more pages of Vampire Diaries (yes, I know) before G starts complaining about my choice in literature.

an education

I'm back in school. And at a real, for real college.
As you might know I've been studying Swedish for awhile now. It's been going ok.
I've been taking classes at a place called Folkuniversitetet and the classes have been great but expensive. I had a meeting with a career counselor a few weeks ago who told me about a program offered at Malmö Högskola called "Introduktionsutbildning."I was able to apply late to the course and had all of my high school and college transcripts sent over here and translated from my English grades to their Swedish equivalents.
Before I could be admitted to the class I had to take a test that said I had proficient Swedish to keep up with the class and I spent the days before the test cramming all of the Swedish I had ever learned into my brain. And it worked! I tricked them into thinking I was smart, I passed the test and was admitted in the class.

Introduktionsutbildning is a year long course that will give you: Swedish B, English A, and Civics A. These are the Swedish high school fundamentals that most foreign residents are missing when they apply to study in Sweden.
If you're lucky like me, you don't have to take the English courses or the tests for the Civics but you do have to attend the Civics lectures. This is because, according to my high school transcript, I already have English (of course) and Civics A.

Swedish B is considered to be the same level as what G (my native Swedish husband) has. So in a year I should be as good as G if not better. :)
After this I can continue on to other university studies (ones that are taught in Swedish) or I could probably score a decent job.
Did I mention that college is free here? So my classes are free. Not only am I getting a great education but it's for free. I am super excited about studying again and being back in school.